Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
