Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we're so committed to being not committed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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