I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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