guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
