I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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