Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
