sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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