my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
