i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize