I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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