Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
