plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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