do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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