ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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