never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
