I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
