shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
