Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
