I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
