Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
