So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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