We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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