I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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