I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I believe in your delicious
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize