i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Randomize
