Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
