Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
420 ftw
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
