I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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