when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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