I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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