Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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