You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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