No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
