The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
