I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
