pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
