I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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