so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
