i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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