You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
