hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
