I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize