After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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