I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it because I queefed?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
