Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
