The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
