That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
