I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
