I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
