There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
