69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize