Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
