My brain says no but my pants say off.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
