So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
