mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
