if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
