You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
