i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize