How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
