so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
