Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
