how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
