talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize