Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
