I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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