genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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