waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
