dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
either way he was missing a nipple.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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