the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Alive.
So much puke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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