I got chris browned last night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You can't special order awesome
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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