DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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