i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
