i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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